Simpson Endorses Donuts, Changing POTUS Race

In an unexpected move, with great national political implications, Homer Simpson today endorsed donuts for POTUS (President of the United States).

Sitting in his car outside a Krispy Kreme store in Wilmington, NC, where the morbidly obese come to eat, Simpson said, "Personally, I like Krispy Kreme donuts but if I am on the road, following a hard day of campaigning to avoid meeting any people, and I see a Dunkin Donuts sign I exit and add  about eight hundred more calories (4 donuts) to my diet. This whole business about calories in vs. calories out, makes no sense to me. I have never met anybody named calorie and where are they going? I think attempts to ban sweets are unconstitutional. These tasty circles are essential to my health and general welfare which are guaranteed by our Founding Fathers."

OK, I made up the first part but it underscores an important aspect of the obesity debate.The food industry has known for years that when asked, people want every kind of information imaginable on the food package. Whether they can use all that information is another matter. They cannot. During fights over country of origin labeling, coffee companies, for example, produced fake labels listing 38 countries where the coffee may have been grown. Who cares and if you do, you are buying coffee at Starbucks.

If anyone outside the professional nutrition community understood what a calorie was, then it would make sense to label. But sadly not everyone is a Registered Dietitian. Some consumers may think too many calories are "bad" but how much is too much? Then, there is the debate about exercise and the finger pointing begins all over again. Urban schools cut recess because the playgrounds are unsafe from drive by shootings. Schools cut gym to focus on teaching kids how to pass the state educational progress tests. Upper-middle class schools substitute driver's education for gym -- you sure do burn calories when you hit the gas and brake pedals. No one walks home because their parents fear pediatric predators.

If you are like Homer Simpson and have a craving for a donut you better understand how much you will have to exercise to keep those cagey calories from turning into fat. Use the following link to calculate your own personal calorie counter:
http://www.healthstatus.com/calculate/cbc